In defence of Questions

I have begun to notice a singular pattern in conversations I have been having lately.  I ask lots of question trying to understand what other people think or believe. I try never to assume that I understand someone's point of view. Oddly people rarely return the favor.  I had a friend recently accuse me of doubting everything he said (because I asked lots of questions) but having no beliefs of my own. I wanted to say, "Well, you never asked me what I thought."

It seems that questions have a bad reputation. I remember asking questions in church settings and at university hoping to get an explanation but instead I got a lecture. It seems that questions are associated with ignorance, rather than the desire to know. I have come to realize that questions are often viewed as attacks, which they are some times, but not always. There is a danger in assuming that all questions are attacks. Questions are associated with doubt, but not all questions come from doubt. When I ask a question people often assume that I disagree, but I may need more information to draw a conclusion.

Questions have a bad reputation, for we say phrases like "to questioned his integrity" or "He questioned his beliefs". These examples show how we equate questions with doubt. To doubt is to question, but to question should be to seek understanding. What would the world be like if questions were seen as good. If we questioned our integrity to test our actions, if we questioned our beliefs to see if we really believe them. If we asked questions to find answers rather than to doubt them.


I guess the real problem is listening. Many questions are asked with out the desire of an answer. Many answers are given without paying attention to the question. Many professors have turned to me after a long drawn out explanation to ask "does that answer your question". I shrug my shoulders because I don't want to say no.

One important thing that I learned from asking my mom questions as a kid is that every question has an answer. Some times that answer is "I don't know." It seems that those two words with a contraction in the middle are very hard to say. It seems that not only are questions associated with ignorance but good answers like "I don't know" are also. Some how we associate "I don't know" with stupidity, there is no relation. Many smart, wise intelligent people have said " I don't know". Honesty and not obfuscation is the best answer to any question.

Another way to answer questions is silence. Upon occasion when people are kind enough to ask me an honest question, I will not say anything other than "That is a good question". I am not a very flexible person but my foot can get in my mouth awfully quick when I'm not thinking carefully. My answers usually come about two hours after the question by which time it is too late. I wonder what it would be like if we didn't expect instant answers. If we broke off our conversations went off and thought a while and then came back. That would be the way to respect a good question. Oddly I have found that many people have a reset button they push after each conversation. I will bring up a topic again after a few days hoping to continue where we left off but I have to start over and hear all the stories and facts all over again. I know its hard to remember what I told who but that is when you ask the all important question. "Have I told you this before?"

Questions need more respect. If I haven't convinced you feel free to ask me what ever you like.